To censor or not to censor?...

As the final part of the Online Element of the Censorship and Regulation unit, I’ve been tasked with reacting to the following images (there are a fair few) as Media Watch UK (or MWUK) would react to them… So here goes:-

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Media Watch UK have an eye for blasphemous libel… Whilst Monty Python’s Life Of Brian escaped legal action from MWUK, this book categorically denies the existence of a supernatural creator, which MWUK finds offensive and blasphemous. Blasphemy law states that “At common law it is an indictable offence punishable by fine or imprisonment to speak or otherwise publish any matter blaspheming God by vilifying or bringing into disbelief or contempt or ridicule Christianity in general or any doctrine of the Christian religion.” We are lighting our burning torches, and mounting a charge on Mr Dawkin’s private residence in the early hours of the morning. With our legal advisors, obviously.

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MWUK has little issue with this image. It is scientifically presented and educational in nature.

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This image was banned after numerous complaints in December 2000. MWUK has strong views on pre-watershed nudity and, as such, this advert has no place on street billboards or anywhere young and precious children might be corrupted or offended by it.

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MWUK have in previous years condemned Michael Grade at Channel 4 for broadcasting Goodfellas at 10pm, when 2 million starving people were being subjected to horrible atrocities in Rwanda, claiming such a violent and obscene film desensitised the audience to the real-world atrocities. Images such as this, which heighten the audience’s awareness of real people’s plight around the world are thus supported by MWUK, although the image may cause offence. The image, in the correct context, is intended to inform the audience, and should not be banned, but perhaps come with a warning about the disturbing nature of the image, to protect the young ‘uns.

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MWUK see no place for pornography in today’s society. Ban it! No, we know WE can’t, but we can make a petition… I’ve got some PVA glue and some glitter, how can the MPs ignore that?

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Oh good heavens… It’s sexually explicit, but it’s educational! Oh we’re all of a dither… This image is acceptable given the context, albeit a little explicit for our tastes… couldn’t they just be holding hands on a park bench? This image certainly shouldn’t be available to young people. We wouldn’t want teenagers getting the ‘safe sex’ message after all.

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We at MWUK have problems with mock violence on TV, let alone the real-life execution of Mr Hussein. The content on YouTube should be regulated somehow. I feel another petition coming on...

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Given the context of this image being featured in an art gallery or exhibition, MWUK feels that it is sufficiently restricted from the public domain, and in an environment in which morally shocking images are to be expected these days.

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This is shit. I’m sorry, we meant sh*t. Apologies to those offended. It’s in an art gallery with, frankly, a whole bunch of other sh*t we don’t give two hoots about (see above) unless it were to enter the public domain. In which case, we’d probably sh*t ourselves.

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This is unacceptable in the eyes of MWUK. Imogen i-used-to-be-on-Big-Brother-and- must-therefore-count-as-a -celebrity-and-thus-have-a- sex-tape-in-my-closet Thomas is not worthy broadcast material. It should be banned, as with all non-educational sexually explicit content. Dirty girl.

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Ooh! Violent videogame, our specialty! Ban it, BAN IT NOW! Mr MP, we’ve already got a petition for this one!

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Oh we complained. A lot, the broadcast of JSTO was a misguided attempt at giving the licence-payers what they wanted. The BBC failed in our opinion, instead alienating a large portion of their viewing audience.


Cynical, moi? Never...

From pinata, to fenugreek, to the top ten TV shows...

Right, well I made Sophie do it, so it’s only fair…

Again, I’m gonna slightly alter the original source blog topic of ‘the top ten best-written TV shows of all time and why they were/are still popular and what made them great’… The question is how to subvert the topic to my own ends? Do I pursue a list of my top ten favourite shows? Do I go genre-specific a la Ms Johnson? Or do I throw caution to the wind and abandon all hope of winning the wrestle with my conscience that such a dilemma would entail, and just plump for the random, ever-so-slightly cult-oriented option?

Yeah, you know it…
Right, I’m not convinced they’re in necessarily the right order, and lord knows there are plenty of shows that should be up there too, but hey-ho, it’s a blog, I’m not gonna cry.

10. House, M.D.
House is fantastic. The writing is sharp and witty, and the title character, Dr Gregory House, is portrayed exceptionally beautifully by Hugh Laurie. As a disaffected, drug-addicted doctor who specialises in solving peculiar medical cases in the most unorthodox of manners, House is a man fighting the system for which he works. Obviously, therefore, audiences love him. Having alienated his regular staff, causing two to quit, and firing another at the end of the third season, the fourth sees him auditioning new recruits. What other show plumps for a cast overhaul after a highly successful 3 season run? Like the character, the show is one in a million. Well, a lot at least.

9. The Day Today/Brass Eye
Look, I’m cheating and combining two shows! Shock, horror! Deal with it. Chris Morris is a comedic god amongst men and women who, in recent years, are less funny than a bomb at a funeral. Titty Titty Bang Bang? F*ck off. The sheer absurdity of these classic shows, coupled with the authoritative delivery make them so hilariously quotable, you could still be rolling on the floor WEEKS after. “He’s got football pie all over his shirt!"

8. Father Ted
This was a toughie, the spot almost went to Only Fools And Horses, but if I’m honest, Ted’s just funnier. The characters were classic anti-stereotyped priests, perfectly stereotyped Irish, and perfectly ridiculous situations they continually found themselves in. Again, infinitely quotable, the marque of a great comedy show.

7. Nip/Tuck
When I was making this list, I basically decided the main criteria were that the shows had to be sufficiently original and stand out from the crowd, and that I had to be genuinely excited at the thought of watching it. Unfortunately, I didn’t deem Supernatural (one of my favourite shows) to suit the former condition well enough. Nip/Tuck is a drama about plastic surgeons. And by god, is it gripping and darkly entertaining. I had my reservations (plastic surgery, you say?) but from the first episode, they had me hooked, and by the end of the third season, my head was spinning…

6. I’m Alan Partridge
Oh. This is higher than Chris Morris. Put away those burning torches. Alan Partridge was one of the best characters in TDT, and this show has so many great episodes and so many more great quotes. Partridge is a complete twat, and we all love it. His penchant for doing or saying the most awkward or embarrassing thing at the most inopportune moment, whilst remaining blissfully unaware and merely digging himself deeper has yet to be surpassed. Now, smell my cheese, you mother!

5. Twin Peaks
Practically invented the season arc in television. Not only was it creepily shot, and cryptically written (what do you expect from David Lynch? Anyone who fully understood Inland Empire, I take my hat off to you), but the setting and the characters just… worked. Agent Dale Cooper quickly became the coolest character ever to any adolescent male watching. He’s an FBI agent who eats pie all the time and throws rocks to gauge his instincts… What’s not to like? Plus, it was weird. I mean it was *WEIRD*. But in a kind of accessible ‘oh I *will* eventually understand (more or less) the significance of the red room if I watch the whole show’.

4. Buffy The Vampire Slayer/Angel
Whoops. I combined again. Buffy was witty, tightly written, pop-culture savvy, and able to span the genres. It was a horror, a teen drama, a comedy and even a musical at times… And Joss Whedon pushed so many boundaries. An episode almost completely devoid of spoken dialogue, a full-on musical episode, extended one-take steadicam shots, main characters becoming gay, then turning evil, trying to destroy the world and finding redemption through the friendship of Nicholas Brendon. Angel broadened the Buffyverse, and kept up the sharp writing tradition of its parent show.

3. Battlestar Galactica (Ronald D. Moore)
No, it’s not the original. Yes it is better. No, I won’t apologise. The urgency and sheer desperation in the 2003 miniseries is convincing enough for the audience to truly empathise with the characters, and believe that, yes, this really is the rout of civilisation, the massacre of mankind. And that drama, that tension, the PACE, just keeps going right through the series. It feels like you’re watching it in real-time, and it is bloody good. The characters are flawed and thus more human, and the show breaks several conventions, having alcoholic Colonel Tigh in his position of power, and having Starbuck (a woman, believe it or not, you original diehards) and Apollo punch each other randomly every now and again. But it is always necessary to the plot, and we always care about the characters.

2. SPACED
Simon Pegg. I need say no more, but I will anyway. This show is so wonderfully geeky, it feels like an adolescent indulgement just to watch it. Like the Mastermind of pop-culture, this show was not only witty and fast paced, it was so tightly written you couldn’t slide a penny between its cheeks. The characters were larger than life and the situations were slants on the norm, and it was perfect. Watch it if you haven’t already, and if you have, I know you’re already reaching for the DVD…

1. Firefly
A western. In space. With Nathan Fillion heading up a fantastic, if little-known, cast. Joss Whedon’s finest televisual work, snuffed out by those short-sighted, pessimistic bastards at the Fox network. I can’t describe my feelings for this show in words. Not so it’ll make much in the way of sense, anyway… Suffice to say, the writing, filming, editing, acting, scoring and setting of this show is nigh perfect. Not to mention pioneering effects such as the focus-pull and crash-zoom on special effects shots, paving the way for BSG (see 3, above). Don’t rent it, buy it. Now. Why are you still sitting there?

*13 episodes and a movie called Serenity later*

Now wasn’t that addictively fucking awesome??

So here endeth the list. It’s been emotional. And it’s certainly been long. Three hours long, in point of fact.

So, debate away… (just bear in mind, if you disagree, I’ll nod and smile, but I’ll know I’m right)

"A ship will bring you work, a gun will help you keep it. A Captain’s goal is simple, find a crew, find a job… keep flying"