What an eventful month and a half...

Well It's well and truly summer again...

I spent my 6-week placement working for White Lantern Film in Poole, where I had great fun as a Production Assistant and driver and even got a Gaffer credit on the comedy short film Flushed, as well as working on the forthcoming Amateur Gardening Magazine DVD.  The staff and crew there were really fun to work with and I think it was a very successful insight into the work of an upcoming independent production company.  I have also passed on the opportunity of 2 weeks work placement at Leopard Films to James, as he still hadn't secured a placement.

Pretty much straight after this, I packed my bag and headed on to Glastonbury '08 with Ben, his girlfriend, and Sparrow.  It was great fun once again, with scarcely a trace of mud this year!! Whilst the line-up wasn't so packed with bands I wanted to see, we had great fun watching those we made it to, including The Wurzles, Alphabeat, Panic! At The Disco, The Fratellis, Goldfrapp, Kate Nash, Mark Ronson, Lightspeed Champions, Seasick Steve, and those we heard from our camp, like Get Cape, Wear Cape, Fly, The Raconteurs, John Mayer, Shakin' Stevens and Brian Jonestown Massacre. The biggest disappointment was the Young Knives, because they were pretty generic and kept us waiting for what seemed like an eternity in a VERY packed John Peel stage, ahead of the Ting Tings debut.

Conveniently, this leads me to the highlights of the weekend's music. Best hot tip: Vampire Weekend. Best intra-band banter: The Wombats. Best rock lightshow: The Verve. Best crowd-draw: The Ting Tings. Best set of the weekend: Jay-Z. There, I said it. Sod the controversy, he was pretty f*cking awesome.

Anyway, I'm home again now, and I returned to 700-odd bales of Hay my first day back... Lovely.

Returning from Bournemouth on the M27, with a car full of my stuff from Uni, and travelling at about 85mph in the fast lane, the rear of my car started to wobble, as if affected by a crosswind, although the trees weren't moving. As I slowed down, the snaking became worse and the car started making some very unhealthy noises and began billowing smoke from the outside rear tyre. I managed to safely guide my car across the 3 lanes and the slip road to the relative safety of the hard shoulder, to see my tyre was 'somewhat buggered' as the AA man so eloquently phrased it.  In preference to risking my legs without a big van with flashing lights on it behind me, I rang the AA and joined for the year, and there was a friendly mechanic on scene not more than 15minutes after I hung up. Of course I got Mr Thick at AA telesales who couldn't work out why I wasn't still in the outside lane, why I was by the sliproad to junction 7 or what the meaning of his useless existence was. But there you go. Sorted it out, found a spare hubcap by the hard shoulder (albeit not the one I lost) and bought a new tyre that afternoon.

Majors, ahoy!

I have recently been very busy, working on a few 3rd years' Major projects, including Ian Roe's Bounce and Anna Lucia Sadler's as yet unnamed film.  I've really enjoyed the experiences, as a camera assistant to Ian, and an actor and runner on Anna's project.  I feel that I've learned a lot about the production process, and especially scheduling for my minor and major projects next year.  On Ian's shoot I got the opportunity to experience the HVX200 for the first time, and it was certainly an interesting experience. It's got all sorts of new and exciting features, such as HD capability (via a P2 card or Fire-store device) and slow motion, as well as a feature which allows you to alter the colour temperature whilst you're filming, allowing for on-set grading! I'm sold. It seems that finding a good, well organised producer/1st AD next year will be paramount to a successful and smooth shoot.

BA(Hons) Procrastination Studies

Well, it's not all bad. I've finished my 4000 word Production Analysis (although it actually came in at 3636, but what the hell), but I cannot emphasise enough in words how much I don't want to write my Adaptation essay, it just doesn't appeal. So I thought I'd update my blog instead, so here goes:

I'm bored. I mean BORED.

This has given me an idea. I'm going to waste a lot of good time doing this for your literary pleasure, but I'm going to type 'bored' into my little Google search bar and explore what happens...

'b' - B&Q Online is the home of kitchen, garden and general all-round hardware suppliers B&Q. Interestingly enough, their web address has neither a B or a Q in it. However, the wikipedia page dedicated to the letter b, the next suggestion, does. Google also asks if I want to see results for 'bebo', the retro social-networking site most of us stopped using when we left secondary school.

'o' - Realty Income CP (NYSE) is down 0.06. O2, the mobile phone network is apparently one of the leading mobile phone suppliers. It also suggests the wiki page for Oxygen, and asks if I want to see results for 'bebo'. I'm now convinced it's a conspiracy. Are they jealous of Facebook?

'r' - 'R-Project' - Some project for statistical computing. Additionally, it comes up with the 'Comprehensive R-Archive Network' aka, believe it or not, 'CRAN'. How crantastic is that? It also asks if I mean Runescape, the MMORPG. No. I do not.

'e' - e = 2.71828183, according to 'the calculator', about which I could have learned more. I didn't. E! Online, the entertainment news website, ebay and the physical review E sites are suggested. Amazingly enough, this manages to cover everything from Paris Hilton to Quantum Physics. I love Google. Interestingly though, no bebo suggestion this time.

'd' - The Dominion Res New (NYSE) is up 0.35. Otherwise, it's mainly the physical review for the value and use of 'D'. More quantum physics. Another conspiracy? Unlikely, quantum physicists probably just watch a lot of sesame street and like playing with letters.

Wow. I feel I've learned something today. I now no longer need to think about writing an academic essay, I'm all learned-out for today.

3rd Placement!??

Had a meeting at Vertigo Films yesterday and they seem keen to have me as a runner, I just have to arrange dates with them apparently. There are a few complications in terms of their hiring a new member of staff which could negate the need for placement students, and they can't sort my placement out until he's settled and they have returned from Cannes in May. Oh well, fingers crossed!

Unproductivity Inc.

I am *really* fucking bored of Halo 3. There, I said it. Spectating for the last THREE HOURS has put me right off it. And in any case, Call Of Duty 4 is so vastly superior, it's a wonder the cartoony charm of Halo has survived. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed playing it myself back in the day, but watching two housemates try to complete level upon level on 'Legendary' difficulty is truly soul destroying. Oh well.

And who in their right mind thinks it's acceptable to jump on top of SOMEONE ELSE'S car? Someone they don't know. And a brand new car. And make a HUGE dent in the roof, thoroughly pissing the driver off for the remainder of the afternoon. Rant over. For now.

Got my marks back for our Indie Drama and my Censorship essay, which earned 70% and 74%, respectively. Well at least something good came out of today... Hopefully the TV social tonight will brighten my outlook a little. Tex out.

Damage Control

The year is 2062. China has grown to stand equal to America in terms of military power and the two nations hold an uneasy peace with one another. America’s military resources and political presence have become diminished by their ongoing entrenchment in a war on terror. The Middle East is scorched from US nuclear weapons and global warming has forced some coastal regions to be evacuated due to storms and flooding and inland shantytowns are commonplace across the globe.

Bill Sadler is a young, handsome man in his mid 20s. He lives in Dyess, Arkansas, and lives what is, in these times, a pretty good life as a young farmer. He meets a girl and they fall in love. As war breaks out between the US and Asia, Bill gets drafted, trained and shipped out. As he leaves, he tells her he loves her.

Twelve bloody years of battle later, snippets of which are revealed via flashback throughout the miniseries, Bill finally returns home, to find his homestead in ruins and his fiancé gone. He finds letters, written and stamped, addressed only to ‘William Sadler, Private 1^st Class #482-7943’. The last letter is dated seven-months previously, and is unfinished, un-enveloped and on the ink-stained desk next to a dried-out fountain pen and an upturned chair stained with long-dried blood. Bill is clearly upset and cries for the first time in over a decade.

As he searches the world for his lover, flashbacks to the war reveal an unsanctioned black ops mission two years prior. Two squad members are killed and one captured in a raid on a biological testing centre in Korea. The facility was trying to create enhanced warfighters from genetically modified embryos and DNA from the most successful soldiers, along with mind-control implants for instant satellite communication and, if necessary, remote termination. Bill and another, Marcus Kane were the only two survivors from the raid.

Although Kane is now dead, Bill learns his wife has also disappeared. He tracks down the genetic researchers and rescues his fiancé. They make it as far as his waiting car when her eyes go dead and she falls, limp, to the floor.

Five years later, to the narrated recitation of the poem, Bill is revealed, heavily scarred, sitting in a darkened corner of a dingy bar, with a half-empty whiskey bottle on the table in front of him, a nobody, a ghost of a man haunted by love lost.

*********************************************************************************

This 3-part HBO Sci-Fi miniseries outline, entitled Damage Control, is the result of an heteroglossic, analogical adaptation of William Blake's poem Never Seek To Tell Thy Love. The poem is concerned with a man's regret at lost love and his insistence that one shouldn't express one's love, as it only leads to pain and loss.

How merry.

The adaptation above is based on the poem, adapting its themes and issues raised, more than a direct visual representation of the images conjured by the poem yet, in a way, it fulfills this also.  The emphasis, however, is on the effect of lost love on the main character, and the way in which he regrets admitting his love.  The final sequence in the bar is full of regret and serves as a warning to others; 'do not tell of your love, for it will only bring pain'.

2nd Placement!

I've just had an interview at White Lantern Film, and secured a 5 week placement there too! I'll just have to check with my tutors to make sure it's all OK, as I'm currently scheduled to start on the 19th of May, which is before the end of term...The office seems relaxed and friendly, if a little cluttered, and I'm looking forward to starting work there.

(William) Blake's Seven

William Blake’s poem ‘Never Seek to Tell Thy Love’ speaks of the melancholy experience of one man’s love for a woman who slips from his grasp. It speaks of a traveller taking her ‘with a sigh’. The key issue seems to be a necessary reluctance to ‘tell’ of one’s love, for fear of notifying the lover, or explaining this love and the effects and ramifications of so doing, based on the narrator’s experience of love lost. I interpreted the poem as a warning of sorts, a cautionary tale of love and loss, with sinister, potentially supernatural undertones. When he tells his lover of his feelings, she is fearful and he loses her. Love is like the wind, silent, invisible, a natural feeling that need not, nay, should not be explained. It is perhaps an unrequited love he is professing, or she may be simply a typical woman, making a big deal of the fact he said the l-o-v-e word, and running away because she’s relationship-phobic or whatnot. In the case of the latter, what then became of the pair? She has left, following his admission of love. Does he pursue her? Does she return of her own accord? Does she stay gone, and he become an emotional wreck drinking himself to an early grave? Or perhaps she realises she loves him but has by now fallen-foul of a ghost-like ‘traveller’ from whom she needs rescue? Only time, and a three-part sci-fi adaptation by a second-year TV student, will tell…

First placement!

Well that was quicker than I expected! I have, via email communication alone, secured my first confirmed placement.  The last two weeks of July will be spent as a runner in London, working for Leopard Films. Now just to sort the other 4 weeks...

Taking the plunge...

Well, here I go! I've started bombarding the British media industry with work placement applications... A nicely-worded email and attached CV (following some useful input from Emma Shaw!) is now winging it's electronic way to 20-or-so film and TV production companies, broadcasters and equipment houses. Now I've just got to sit back and wait for my phone to ring, hot with offers... I expect it will be a while...

To censor or not to censor?...

As the final part of the Online Element of the Censorship and Regulation unit, I’ve been tasked with reacting to the following images (there are a fair few) as Media Watch UK (or MWUK) would react to them… So here goes:-

IMAGE 1

Media Watch UK have an eye for blasphemous libel… Whilst Monty Python’s Life Of Brian escaped legal action from MWUK, this book categorically denies the existence of a supernatural creator, which MWUK finds offensive and blasphemous. Blasphemy law states that “At common law it is an indictable offence punishable by fine or imprisonment to speak or otherwise publish any matter blaspheming God by vilifying or bringing into disbelief or contempt or ridicule Christianity in general or any doctrine of the Christian religion.” We are lighting our burning torches, and mounting a charge on Mr Dawkin’s private residence in the early hours of the morning. With our legal advisors, obviously.

IMAGE 2

MWUK has little issue with this image. It is scientifically presented and educational in nature.

IMAGE 3

This image was banned after numerous complaints in December 2000. MWUK has strong views on pre-watershed nudity and, as such, this advert has no place on street billboards or anywhere young and precious children might be corrupted or offended by it.

IMAGE 4

MWUK have in previous years condemned Michael Grade at Channel 4 for broadcasting Goodfellas at 10pm, when 2 million starving people were being subjected to horrible atrocities in Rwanda, claiming such a violent and obscene film desensitised the audience to the real-world atrocities. Images such as this, which heighten the audience’s awareness of real people’s plight around the world are thus supported by MWUK, although the image may cause offence. The image, in the correct context, is intended to inform the audience, and should not be banned, but perhaps come with a warning about the disturbing nature of the image, to protect the young ‘uns.

IMAGE 5

MWUK see no place for pornography in today’s society. Ban it! No, we know WE can’t, but we can make a petition… I’ve got some PVA glue and some glitter, how can the MPs ignore that?

IMAGE 6

Oh good heavens… It’s sexually explicit, but it’s educational! Oh we’re all of a dither… This image is acceptable given the context, albeit a little explicit for our tastes… couldn’t they just be holding hands on a park bench? This image certainly shouldn’t be available to young people. We wouldn’t want teenagers getting the ‘safe sex’ message after all.

IMAGE 7

We at MWUK have problems with mock violence on TV, let alone the real-life execution of Mr Hussein. The content on YouTube should be regulated somehow. I feel another petition coming on...

IMAGE 8

Given the context of this image being featured in an art gallery or exhibition, MWUK feels that it is sufficiently restricted from the public domain, and in an environment in which morally shocking images are to be expected these days.

IMAGE 9

This is shit. I’m sorry, we meant sh*t. Apologies to those offended. It’s in an art gallery with, frankly, a whole bunch of other sh*t we don’t give two hoots about (see above) unless it were to enter the public domain. In which case, we’d probably sh*t ourselves.

IMAGE 10

This is unacceptable in the eyes of MWUK. Imogen i-used-to-be-on-Big-Brother-and- must-therefore-count-as-a -celebrity-and-thus-have-a- sex-tape-in-my-closet Thomas is not worthy broadcast material. It should be banned, as with all non-educational sexually explicit content. Dirty girl.

IMAGE 11

Ooh! Violent videogame, our specialty! Ban it, BAN IT NOW! Mr MP, we’ve already got a petition for this one!

IMAGE 12

Oh we complained. A lot, the broadcast of JSTO was a misguided attempt at giving the licence-payers what they wanted. The BBC failed in our opinion, instead alienating a large portion of their viewing audience.


Cynical, moi? Never...

From pinata, to fenugreek, to the top ten TV shows...

Right, well I made Sophie do it, so it’s only fair…

Again, I’m gonna slightly alter the original source blog topic of ‘the top ten best-written TV shows of all time and why they were/are still popular and what made them great’… The question is how to subvert the topic to my own ends? Do I pursue a list of my top ten favourite shows? Do I go genre-specific a la Ms Johnson? Or do I throw caution to the wind and abandon all hope of winning the wrestle with my conscience that such a dilemma would entail, and just plump for the random, ever-so-slightly cult-oriented option?

Yeah, you know it…
Right, I’m not convinced they’re in necessarily the right order, and lord knows there are plenty of shows that should be up there too, but hey-ho, it’s a blog, I’m not gonna cry.

10. House, M.D.
House is fantastic. The writing is sharp and witty, and the title character, Dr Gregory House, is portrayed exceptionally beautifully by Hugh Laurie. As a disaffected, drug-addicted doctor who specialises in solving peculiar medical cases in the most unorthodox of manners, House is a man fighting the system for which he works. Obviously, therefore, audiences love him. Having alienated his regular staff, causing two to quit, and firing another at the end of the third season, the fourth sees him auditioning new recruits. What other show plumps for a cast overhaul after a highly successful 3 season run? Like the character, the show is one in a million. Well, a lot at least.

9. The Day Today/Brass Eye
Look, I’m cheating and combining two shows! Shock, horror! Deal with it. Chris Morris is a comedic god amongst men and women who, in recent years, are less funny than a bomb at a funeral. Titty Titty Bang Bang? F*ck off. The sheer absurdity of these classic shows, coupled with the authoritative delivery make them so hilariously quotable, you could still be rolling on the floor WEEKS after. “He’s got football pie all over his shirt!"

8. Father Ted
This was a toughie, the spot almost went to Only Fools And Horses, but if I’m honest, Ted’s just funnier. The characters were classic anti-stereotyped priests, perfectly stereotyped Irish, and perfectly ridiculous situations they continually found themselves in. Again, infinitely quotable, the marque of a great comedy show.

7. Nip/Tuck
When I was making this list, I basically decided the main criteria were that the shows had to be sufficiently original and stand out from the crowd, and that I had to be genuinely excited at the thought of watching it. Unfortunately, I didn’t deem Supernatural (one of my favourite shows) to suit the former condition well enough. Nip/Tuck is a drama about plastic surgeons. And by god, is it gripping and darkly entertaining. I had my reservations (plastic surgery, you say?) but from the first episode, they had me hooked, and by the end of the third season, my head was spinning…

6. I’m Alan Partridge
Oh. This is higher than Chris Morris. Put away those burning torches. Alan Partridge was one of the best characters in TDT, and this show has so many great episodes and so many more great quotes. Partridge is a complete twat, and we all love it. His penchant for doing or saying the most awkward or embarrassing thing at the most inopportune moment, whilst remaining blissfully unaware and merely digging himself deeper has yet to be surpassed. Now, smell my cheese, you mother!

5. Twin Peaks
Practically invented the season arc in television. Not only was it creepily shot, and cryptically written (what do you expect from David Lynch? Anyone who fully understood Inland Empire, I take my hat off to you), but the setting and the characters just… worked. Agent Dale Cooper quickly became the coolest character ever to any adolescent male watching. He’s an FBI agent who eats pie all the time and throws rocks to gauge his instincts… What’s not to like? Plus, it was weird. I mean it was *WEIRD*. But in a kind of accessible ‘oh I *will* eventually understand (more or less) the significance of the red room if I watch the whole show’.

4. Buffy The Vampire Slayer/Angel
Whoops. I combined again. Buffy was witty, tightly written, pop-culture savvy, and able to span the genres. It was a horror, a teen drama, a comedy and even a musical at times… And Joss Whedon pushed so many boundaries. An episode almost completely devoid of spoken dialogue, a full-on musical episode, extended one-take steadicam shots, main characters becoming gay, then turning evil, trying to destroy the world and finding redemption through the friendship of Nicholas Brendon. Angel broadened the Buffyverse, and kept up the sharp writing tradition of its parent show.

3. Battlestar Galactica (Ronald D. Moore)
No, it’s not the original. Yes it is better. No, I won’t apologise. The urgency and sheer desperation in the 2003 miniseries is convincing enough for the audience to truly empathise with the characters, and believe that, yes, this really is the rout of civilisation, the massacre of mankind. And that drama, that tension, the PACE, just keeps going right through the series. It feels like you’re watching it in real-time, and it is bloody good. The characters are flawed and thus more human, and the show breaks several conventions, having alcoholic Colonel Tigh in his position of power, and having Starbuck (a woman, believe it or not, you original diehards) and Apollo punch each other randomly every now and again. But it is always necessary to the plot, and we always care about the characters.

2. SPACED
Simon Pegg. I need say no more, but I will anyway. This show is so wonderfully geeky, it feels like an adolescent indulgement just to watch it. Like the Mastermind of pop-culture, this show was not only witty and fast paced, it was so tightly written you couldn’t slide a penny between its cheeks. The characters were larger than life and the situations were slants on the norm, and it was perfect. Watch it if you haven’t already, and if you have, I know you’re already reaching for the DVD…

1. Firefly
A western. In space. With Nathan Fillion heading up a fantastic, if little-known, cast. Joss Whedon’s finest televisual work, snuffed out by those short-sighted, pessimistic bastards at the Fox network. I can’t describe my feelings for this show in words. Not so it’ll make much in the way of sense, anyway… Suffice to say, the writing, filming, editing, acting, scoring and setting of this show is nigh perfect. Not to mention pioneering effects such as the focus-pull and crash-zoom on special effects shots, paving the way for BSG (see 3, above). Don’t rent it, buy it. Now. Why are you still sitting there?

*13 episodes and a movie called Serenity later*

Now wasn’t that addictively fucking awesome??

So here endeth the list. It’s been emotional. And it’s certainly been long. Three hours long, in point of fact.

So, debate away… (just bear in mind, if you disagree, I’ll nod and smile, but I’ll know I’m right)

"A ship will bring you work, a gun will help you keep it. A Captain’s goal is simple, find a crew, find a job… keep flying"