Media Watch UK

Are you worried that your children are going to turn into violent sociopaths with a lust for violence? Or perhaps you're afraid they'll never make it to see their fifteenth birthday, because our Media content in this day and age is too loosely regulated for the free-thinking public? If so, you can join like-minded killjoys and paranoid scaremongers over at Media Watch UK (www.mediawatchuk.org), an organisation built upon the great British tradition of complaining, demonising the Media, in the interest of a public that just doesn’t seem to give a damn anymore... So much for the stiff upper lip.

Violence and swearing on TV seems to be their main concern at the moment, although sex on TV and violence in videogames are also high on their moral hit-list. Intent on trying to mobilise an apathetic public (maybe they just don’t care that much anymore, folks?!), they are responsible for running campaigns, and trying to petition MPs on banning and regulating the media that they deem harmful. Great. More watered-down crap on TV, good work guys. If reruns of Songs Of Praise start to replace Waking The Dead of an evening, you’ll know who to thank.

Media Watch UK accuse programmes such as Big Brother, Wife Swap, Pornography: The Musical (which wasn’t offensive, per se, it was just crap) and Sex With Strangers (all broadcast on Channel 4) of “disregard[ing] standards”. Additionally, they have a big problem with Channel 5’s license, which includes an ‘erotic programme’ clause for weekend broadcasts. This prompted a retrospective investigation, wherein they “analysed 146 films shown in 2003 and identified 2,234 uses of the f-word and 1,622 uses of the s-word.” And what might they be, exactly?... “foreplay” and “shag”? Grow up, we’re all adults here, and after all, even if we weren’t, kids these days have learnt to swear. Mainly from the media, I’m sure. It certainly couldn’t be from their parents or ANYWHERE else.

Honest.

Society is in tatters thanks to lax censorship in the new millenium. Just look at Pete Docherty and Amy Winehouse, clearly they have been adversely influenced by the media and are spreading that effect by being 'bad role models'. They didn't invent the rock and roll lifestyle, which, if anything is LESS acceptable in todays society... Keith Richards and co were just quirky anomalies back in the day, after all...

Darker days are drawing near...

It's a cold and wet day in Bournemouth, days are getting shorter, nights are getting longer and heating is getting turned on sparingly...

Life down here is pretty good right now, the second year is definately where it's at...

I've got an Authorship essay due in a week, a course social on Thursday, work on Friday til 6 then a camping trip with the boys back home til sunday, ahead of a TV studio drama shoot at 9 am on the monday. But besides that it's just a bunch of free time...

The new HD TV Studio is dazzlingly superb, full of loads of flash equipment that would make HBO jealous. Needless to say, we can't wait to start shooting in there...

Year Two begins...

I'm back at uni, living in an awesome house in Winton. The last three weeks have essentially been a heady mix of beach, nights out and chilling out in front of Fred's 37" HD TV... Folks are steadily filtering back from the summer, and it's nice to see some familiar faces when you're out and about these days.

My finances are suffering somewhat though, not least thanks to an emergency ambulance run for Karin who couldn't breathe today. I got clamped outside Londis for no logical reason and had to pay £125 release fee. Myself. With no reimbursement from the patient. So I might just not bother next time... It's not like it would have been at home, I know that much!

Speaking of which, summer was pretty cool, great to get back and see all my mates again. Y'know, all those mates who would thoroughly appreciate any part I played in saving their lives... Oh well, ce la vie.

Anyway, I'm back in Dylan's and looking forward to Year 2! Roll on the snakebites...

The end of the Rainbow...

Well, as I write this, I'm sitting watching A Cock and Bull Story with Gilad, Sica n Fred in Gilad's idyllic Irish country house. We went out clubbing last night which was great fun, and today has been spent mainly chilling at Gilad's, playing some poker, football and cricket, and watching Middletown which is also quality. Also started reading Patrick McCabe's Call meThe Breeze this morning, which is pretty cool. I also seem to have developed a mediocre Nor'n Ire'n accent, which seems to come out subconciously, and probably seems highly stupid, from Gilad's pov especially! Tomorrow, I think we're off to Belfast, but beyond that, it's all a bit up-in-the-air...

End of Haying, off to Ireland soon!

Haying for this season is finished! 9,360 bales all told, all in and stacked as of last Saturday...

I also went to retrieve the car and caravan from Maldon for the circus, and ended-up getting duped into pull-down. Anyway, I'm looking forward to going to see Gilad in Ireland in a couple of days time with Sica n Frederick.

George's 20th in the caravan in West Wittering was also fun last week, featuring toasts and speaches from Marv, myself and, of course, the man-of-the-moment, George. We played some games, watched some TV and ate a f*ckload, thanks to Marv's somewhat over-zealous culinary exploits...

Marv's 21st was also a laugh, although all the pubs in Billy were shut due to some Gypsy funeral, and the place being somewhat inundated with them, the police told everywhere to close for the night... (although there was a quite appealling theory that they were actually closed because they knew it was Marv's birthday, following the exploits of his 18th in the Bells!) We ended up going to Bar Vin in Horsham, wherein liquer was quaffed and quizzes were lost! :D

Bombay Saphirre is awful, by the way.

Oh, how I've missed Summer at home!

Well, them thar 3 fields are in now (Cottage Meadow -1000, East Park -966 and Hunt's Meadow -743) and Moat Field is now cut... Needless to say, having finished Hunt's Meadow about half an hour ago, we're somewhat hot and bothered!

On another note, Jack and I went shooting the other day and bagged 4 rabbits and a squirell, although my rifle was shooting some 4 inches low at 20yrds (not having been used for the best part of a year!) And having just finished playing with le ferret, I spotted a rabbit on the lawn and dashed off to tie the dog up and get my gun, but just as I got back, my mum lost it in the bushes! And the dog (of course) couldn't find him after that! She'd have more luck cathing a horse than a rat/rabbit/squirell/anything small, fury and pest-like! The ferret was under the hut the other day and chased a mouse out which practically tripped over the dog's tail and she didn't notice! Ah, well...

Managed (after 400-or-so bales) to make it to the Bells last night for Karaoke... George and I kicked off with our old classic 'The Devil Went Down To Georgia', before he and Marv did 'Gold'. I then sang 'From The Ritz To The Rubble' on my tod (which was very well received!) and then, after Marv and George's 'Can't Take My Eye's Off Of You' redition, Moss and I did 'When The Sun Goes Down' (by the Arctic Monkeys, not Kenny Chesney/Uncle Kracker) to round off our evening's performances... A good time was had by all, and even Mr Walter managed to make it to the pub, if not karaoke! :D

Right, probably an idea to have a shower now, before the crap and haydust becomes a part of my genetic code...

Make Hay while the Sun shines...

Well my laptop is sorted (look, there's some wood that I'm touching!), thanks to a OS CD Repair and Tech Support Guy Forums (www.techguy.org) and a reinstallation of MS Windows Update Agent... Yay!

Cirque Normandie was fun, nice to be back for 2-and-a-half weeks, rather than the whole season! Haha! We did get slightly bogged-down in the washout that was the 2007 Netley Marsh Steam Fair, although thanks to a crazy nutter in a huge Massey, the lorries got pulled out (even if he did almost roll the bunkwagon!), and I managed to get Ed's spazwagon out under it's own steam, so to speak. Other highlights of this years tour include Ben's mission to finish a mixed grill AND a mahoosive ice-cream/brownie/malteser/sauce concoction as big as his head and Tolly's attempted popcorn suicide... He turned a nice shade of claret, then deep purple and passed out, having stuffed a handful of popcorn in his mouth... Fortunately, Dave and I were on hand to save him, and Ed was on hand to... carry on making candyfloss!!

Anyway, I'm back at Fishers Farm Park (cue shameless plug: www.fishersfarmpark.co.uk) 3 days a week, and the Sun IS now shining, so Dad's out cutting the hay... 7 fields left, 3 are now cut, one or two of which might be ready for baling/collecting this pm/eve... Oh joy. Nice to be back with the old boys again down the pub, even if Marv is getting steadily more emo... :s Won't be long before he's listening to My Chemical Romance and drinking Windolene in cemetaries with fifteen year-olds! His retort being, 'I already do! Haha!' :)

Ah, Summer is *finally* here... :D

Summertime Blues

Bournemouth's hogging all the sun...

Well I'm back in the little two-star town devoid of mobile phone signal and technologically a massive blackspot. My laptop is f*cked. I don't know why, nor how to fix it. Mr Poppadum from Dell doesn't seem to know either... Grrr...

Anyway, possibly re-joining the circus for a stint in July, before heading back to Fishers 3days a week from the 25th to the 24th of August... Oh, and haying at home should be fun too (provided the rain lets up, that is...) Apparently daddykins has beaten everyone to it and got 3500 bales in already (no-one else has started in the country, I don't think!) Mr bloody Superfarmer, eh?...

Oh well, Dell support probably need an update now-ish, and I do still have to fill in my Tax Return (not my Tex Return, as James noted...) sometime today.

"Thankyou Glastonbury!!"

Well folks, Glasto 2007 was absolutely UNREAL!

From wednesday night at the Stone Circle, to the 2-hour absolutely rain-drenched queue to catch a bus on monday morning, the whole experience was exceptional! And the mud is beyond what you could possibly imagine... I mean, I've seen my fair share of mud in my time, but it was unbelievable...

Anyway, on to the list of who I saw, and just how great they actually were...

Friday:-
Adjegas - We caught the end of them, and they were... interesting.
The View - Ker-wality! And we HAD had the same jeans on for 4 days now...
The Earlies - Pretty good, but I don't really remember them too well.
Gogol Bordello - Highly entertaining performance, a real crowd drawing act!
Bloc Party - C'mon guys, it's Bloc Party! Were they crap? Were they buggary!!
The Fratellis - I was dancing my socks off at the front for the whole set.
Kasabian - Wicked! Top dollar performance with their stonking tunes.
Arctic Monkeys - And they said they didn't have enough tunes to headline... pah!

Saturday:-
Seasick Steve - Quality country blues - legend! (Ben thought it was Hendrix)
The Long Blondes - Again, caught the end, pretty good too.
Biffy Clyro - Quality! 'Mon the Biffy!
CSS - 3 outfits for the lead singer, and one great show from the whole group!
Calvin Harris - He definately got all the girls! Great tunes and a nice bloke.
Paulo Nutini - Caught the end, not a fan, but the jungle book was good!
Maximo Park - Rocked our socks off! We were raving our hearts out!
The Kooks - Sorry to say, I got a bit bored and wandered off...
Barnstormer - Fred and I certainly enjoyed dancing daftly for them!
John Otway - Legend! Hilarious show for the 10 people who caught it!

Sunday:-
Corb Lund - Country. Need I say more? He sang a song about pick-ups!
The Enemy - Meh, they were alright, only caught a song or two.
Sunshine Underground - Quality set from a great act.
The Marley Brothers - Caught a song or two again, good fun!
The Rakes - Great show, lead singer was a bit of weirdo! :D
Manic Street Preachers - Awesome set, entertaining show.
Kaiser Chiefs - Wicked show, I was almost all danced-out after...
The Who - What can I say?! Flawless performance!... oh, and Roger Daltry looked me in the eyes... lol!

All in all it was one of the best extended weekends of my life (and my wristband number was 3915, near as I could make out)... Also, the food was great! We tried, amongst other things, Ostrich, Kangaroo and Crocodile, some North African cuisine we couldn't pronounce, Buffalo and 'praaper good cider' (turns out it's quite hard to translate the somerset accent into typed phoenetics...) was flowing by the barrel...

Roll on next year!!

109 minutes I won't get back...

Now, I don't personally have a problem admitting it when I like a 'chick flick' (Mean Girls, for example) but White Chicks is not only not a chick flick, but is in fact absolutely abysmal. No ifs, no buts, it is terrible. Yes, I would even go so far as to say it was *worse* than Catwoman. Those of you who know me will now appreciate just how bad it actually is.

Now don't get me wrong here, I approached it with a relatively open mind. Although I had my reservations, expecting it to be crap, I allowed myself to think about the possibilities of what could happen, and how it *could* be good. How I wish I hadn't bothered.

The jokes are ruined by the predictability and unoriginality, the plot is ludicrous and thoroughly unconvincing (need I give an example? Oh, OK then, how about the fact THEY DIDN'T LOOK ANYTHING LIKE THE ACTUAL GIRLS!!). Most punchlines, and even the slapstick, is so obvious that one can see it coming a mile away. It's full of cliches and things that have been done before. There was not a single moment in the film when I found myself surprised at what happened. I knew exactly where the film was heading the entire time, which obviously killed the "humour" before it had a chance to work.

Not to mention the make-up, which took a whole team of make-up artists to do in the first place, in a montage, a MONTAGE, people! (it must therefore have taken quite some time!!) could then be simply put on and off by one of them alone, in a matter of minutes. And of course all of the girls' closest friends fell for it hook, line and sinker, despite the fact they looked nothing like the girls they were supposed to be.

It is also the worst so-called 'comedic' portrayal of the FBI ever. They are portrayed as a bunch of undisciplined muppets who just screw everything up, and seem to have no training at all whatsoever. Obviously the real FBI is not like this... I'm sure they have both training and discipline.

It is a film *completely* devoid of realism, and the only snigger out of me was when the big bald black dude started raving. The Wayan brothers have sunk to a new low with this one... If it were a parody, then, yeah, it would probably have worked. Sort yourselves out boys.

PDP: 1500 words BEACH: 2 hours STOPPING LAURA GETTING INTO A FIGHT: Priceless.

Well, yesterday was quite an eventful day all round... PDP done got handed in, along with my UGLY project, meaning the last remaining item on the agenda is my expenses claim form for my UGLY... once I've found it... Anyhoo, Fred, Gilad and I managed to hand ours in, and then hit the beach with James and Laura, where she played with balls whilst we came up with sketch ideas...

Having driven home, we then got an invite for dinner round Grissly's and, after a quick shower, went to purbeck for some pasta. Long story short, Gilad, Laura & co turned up and we played strip poker, which ended rather abruptly with a *very* bad all-in call... The less said about that the better. Moving swiftly on, we headed to Bliss for the night, where Blow Jobs and Quick Fucks were £2.50 a hit (yes, I *do* mean the cocktails) and we danced the night away to some quality cheese.

Eventually got home at about 4.30, having broken up a fight that Laura tried to start with some guy who was apparently a right twat and also couldn't deal with the fact that she has white friends, here in the 21st century where none of the rest of us gave it a second thought. And you wonder why there's still racism in this country... Anyway, watched some Supernatural and hit the hay around 6.30ish.

Plans for today include a free meal at the Hop & Kilderkin, courtesy of the quiz Fazza and I hosted a fortnight ago, and then who knows...

Term 3, what a wicked time!... Well, barr PDP...

Well, I've *thoroughly* enjoyed term 3!

From the Summer Project (Hadrian's Wall - holla Group Gee - Grisslybear, Trigg, Laura, Sam 'n' JiP!) and almost getting arrested, to the Ugly Project (Over Exposure viewable here) and helping out with as many peoples' as I could! Not to mention of course the Summerball - yes, despite the fact I was working the bar, I did still have a great night! Plus I got paid, and I can remember it!! :D

PDP remains one of those unfathomable entities along with how they get the egg inside ham/egg loaf thingies... Anyhoo, It's practically done now, so if it's wrong, tough. I was supposed to evaluate my progress and I did. Deal.

Meat Loaf at Wembley was fantastomatic as well! He's still rocking (despite the fact we did all think he was gonna collapse during the show!) at the ripe old age of 57 or whatever he said he was these days...

Anyway, off to watch some more Supernatural now, 'cos I'm halfway through Season 2...

Over and out.

Term 2 progress

Well, Term two aka 'Narratives' and 'Audiences' has gone well, and our Documentary on Rodney (The Bookshop In The Sky available here) has done very well! We got 74 for it, of which we're all well chuffed! Turns out the re-edit must have been worth the creative differences... :P

Anyways, my Audiences essay has also been well received by the Berge-meister, although he commented that I'd have more fun next year as I'd be able to write more freely... Apparently the essays this year were somewhat too narrow in terms of what they were looking for... So I can't wait! Also, pretty sure I'm gonna be doing Censorship & Regulation and Adaptation as my theory options for next year which should be fun... Dunno about my practical specialism at the moment though, I'm kinda torn between Camera and Editing... I love composing shots, but I also like the power of manipulation and making it 'real' in the edit...

Oh well, ce la vie...

New blog for a new year...

Well, here it is folks, the new blog...

So it's gooodbye to the rubbish-ness of my Myspace blog, and hello to my shiny new one...

The old blog can still be accessed here.

More to follow... as always!

Keep it Mexico.